In my hallway last Spring I built a long bulletin board, yesterday I wiped the slate clean of things mostly my friends attached over time. Originally it was constructed for an art project, but that never materialized and so it had become chaotic and impersonal. Thursday returning from a peer specialist conference I was inspired to make it personal; I printed off some self-care bullet points, cut each phrase with scissors and pinned them to the cork. As someone who is recovering from mental illness, enough to successfully help my peers, as a peer specialist it my job to be a role model, someone who unitizes the tools and strategies that I preach. This morning during my walk on the river bed the necessity to first focus on my self reverberated and feelings for a friend who I have strayed from surfaced. I did not know how to help them. I realize now even if we stand side by side lost, it is still better than being adrift apart. I have burned too many bridges in my life. Do not carry matches; I will tack that one up on the wall.
11/01/19 – Taughannock Falls State Park – Trumansburg, NY